so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
