i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Houston, we have a squirter
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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