i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
