i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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