I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
