What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
