By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
