About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
