Even water is tasting like jack daniels
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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