i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
