How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
