Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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