very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So many bounce houses so little time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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