i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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