God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
