"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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