Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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