He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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