He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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