SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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