So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
