I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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