I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
