his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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