youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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