don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
