i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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