i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
