shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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