saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
