every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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