we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
