windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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