i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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