btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
