Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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