I'd wear matching sweaters with you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
