I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
