I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
this will be a night to untag.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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