I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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