I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
