he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Randomize
