Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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