i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
