The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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