Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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