Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
