Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If that was your dad, he is hot
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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