That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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