We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
