There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
