I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Found the puke drawer
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
