Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
wow bdsm is so cute
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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