I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
