I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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