Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
