cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
