Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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