chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
