everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
