its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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