My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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