We're facebook friends in real life
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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