Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
