I have demons in me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
