Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
