I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
