hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you would pick up someone in the library
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
